Breaking up isn’t just hard to do, it’s downright emotionally brutal. Breakups can be so depressing, and it almost feels like death. In fact, it is a death in a way… the death of what you know as comfortable, death of a ‘best friend’ even perhaps.
Maybe you put off breaking up even though you’re unhappy, because really, who wants to go back to scouting for someone new, figuring who they truly are, meeting their family, getting to meet their friends and so on? You’ve invested so much work in this relationship that you really don’t want to let go of all your emotional investment in your partner. After all, no one is perfect and relationships take work. Maybe you should just forgive and forget?
It is expedient to know what is working and what is not. Patching a relationship is often catastrophic. However, at some point, a breakup is inevitable, and we have to act immediately so we can buy ourselves time for recovery and move on.
Let’s look at some of the most important signs telling you the relationship is not worth fighting for anymore.
1. Your Partner Puts You Down
Verbal, physical, emotional and/or mental abuses are 100% dealbreakers in our book. If your partner makes or puts you down in any form, then you deserve better. See your worth and don’t allow others to denigrate or belittle you.
2. Your Partner Tries to Control You
If your partner tries to control the way you act, who you are friends with or what you wear, this is a red hot warning flag that he or she isn’t the one for you. Take the exit door.
3. Your Partner Does Not Respect You
Respect should be mutual, and your partner should never disrespect you, whether in public or in the alone behind closed doors.
4. You Are No Longer Attracted to Your Partner
Attraction is necessary. If you’ve lost your attraction walk away.
5. Your Partner is not trying to make it work
It takes two to tango, as they say. Two people need to be committed to making a relationship work. If your partner doesn’t seem to care about fixing things and you feel you’re holding more than your share of the blame for things, then it’s time to look out for yourself.
6. You Feel Drained
Trying to make your partner happy when you aren’t can be emotionally exhausting. You might take a step back and understand why you are trying to make THEM happy, instead of yourself.
7. You Avoid Confrontations
And when the egg breaks, none of you talks about the mess. Shielding the truth from your partner about how you really feel about a topic will only fester and swell. If you can’t have an open and honest dialogue with your partner without the other person hitting the fan, perhaps this isn’t the right relationship for you.
8. You don’t miss your partner
When you are away, and you find out that you don’t miss the one who is supposed to be your significant other, and not minding the time apart, it is time to put a question mark on the relationship.
9. You are incompatible
If you are in a relationship with someone you are not compatible with, it will not work no matter the amount of chemistry or how fantastic the sex is. If you have a partner who has a different long-term plan, who do not share in your future plans, or have nothing in common with other than great sex, we implore you to look elsewhere!
10. You feel cheated or feel like a second choice
Always remember to double check if you are your partner’s top priority. Of course, we ALL get busy with work or the kids, but if you feel as though your partner has chosen someone or something OVER you, it’s time to have the talk. If things don’t change, consider hitting the highway or playing second fiddle to his computer forever.